Did ya miss us??

Well, I have been busy with Christmas activities so I haven't blogged in a few days, but FEAR NOT, Josh has been up to all his hilarious tricks. It started on Thursday when I had the super awesome idea to make a DVD slide show for my brother and sister in law for a Christmas gift. How nice and thoughtful of me, ha ha. I think this will take me about one hour so that is not bad. Oh how unintelligent I am. This project ended up taking me 6 hours! So this gives Josh a lot of time to run wild. He begins by getting the can of coffee I foolishly left too close to the edge of the counter, as I hurriedly made coffee so I can work on the DVD. He brings it to his personal table (the coffee table) and begins spooning it out. Wonderful, I will vacuum it later. Oh wait Brianna and Ian are here, they are supposed to be helping watch Josh so I can work but they decide to arm wrestle, on the coffee table, soooo, they sweep all the coffee off onto the FLOOR! Nice. I holler at them that they are supposed to watching Josh, they do so for a few minutes and then think playing hot potato is a good idea, so they get a raw potato out of the pantry and leave it open. So as they throw this potato around and hit the walls half the time instead of catching it, Josh pulls the bread out of the pantry and dumps it on the floor. Easy to pick up you would figure, except Josh rips it and smashes it all over. This now means I have coffee on the living room floor and bread all over the kitchen and dining room floor. When Josh brings me a paint can from the bottom of the pantry I realize he is running amok. I wasn't sure if the garbage man would come on Friday due to the holiday, so I only take out the garbage in the can, as I am working hard I hear him coming down our very short street, meaning I have 2 minutes to run around and get the other 5 bags out! I ask Brianna to get the garbage from the house, bag it up and bring it out. She does and I appreciate that. But since we are hurrying she forgets to close the bathroom doors. What can this mean? Well this means Josh gets the rolls of toilet paper and unrolls them all over the house. He has also gotten the paper towel somehow and has unrolled that all over the house also. So picture this if you can, bread everywhere, coffee on the floor, paper towel and toilet paper spread from end to end. UGH a huge mess, I have to clean some of it up before we leave to take Josh to the doctor.We are going visiting right after the doctor which means Jeff will be home from work and SEE this huge disaster area. I wonder if I call FEMA and get it declared a disaster zone, if he will overlook it, but I somehow doubt it. Josh is great going into the doctors waiting room, UNTIL he has to get out of the stroller and onto the scale. Now he is terrified and runs off the scale screaming. We get into the room and he is playing while we wait for the Doctor, all smiles and laughs. UH OH, the door has opened and the doctor has arrived. Josh is having a terrified FIT. He is at the age where he thinks the doctors office means pain.While I hold him in a "body lock" he manages to squirm enough to slap the doctor. I think I may just die now.(I am correct in my suspicion, he has an ear infection.) After we get home from visiting, Josh is sleeping, so I hurriedly get back to work, but he wakes up after an hour or so and wants to eat, so I give him some summer sausage and cheese. Bedtime arrives and we sleep. I wake early on Saturday and suffer anxiety as I lie in bed thinking about these DVDs and everything else I have to do that day. I have smartly decided to make a DVD for my mom also (what is wrong with me!) I quickly get to work and then rush to leave so we can do Christmas with my niece Jilly ( whom I haven't shopped for yet), keep in mind it is Christmas eve. As I am working at a frantic pace, I see Josh open the DVD cabinet, he continually pulls all the DVDs out and throws them around. I scold him and pick them up. He opens the cabinet again! What is wrong with him! Oh, he wants the SUMMER SAUSAGE HE HID THERE LAST NIGHT. gross!!! OK, got gifts and off to the party we go. My mom wants all 7 grand kids ages 20 months to 10 , to make gingerbread houses. Fun. They are all working hard and making great houses, EXCEPT Josh. He is only eating the candy not decorating with it. Wonderful, I have to leave him at my moms because Jeff and I have to do all our Christmas shopping. At 1 pm on Christmas eve! Off to Meijers we go and I think Josh is happily going shopping with my sister, alas he  is not. My mom decides she will put Josh down for a nap. This is an impossible feat for anyone but me. Josh likes to cuddle with only me and have his bottle. He sleeps a little I guess, but Brianna tells me later that he laid on the floor crying, "help me momma" AWWWWW, now my hear is broken and I am exhausted. So we are too tired and Josh is too sick and tired to go to Church. Very sad about this. I realize I have nothing for Christmas breakfast and no cookies for Santa. Quick run to Rite Aid and then off to bed. CHRISTMAS MORNING!!!! The big kids get up at 6:30, but Josh is still sleeping, so we let Brianna and Ian open their gifts. Which they love and then Josh arrives! So he opens his gifts,  and loves them also. He has a new TABLE,   ALL FOR HIM!!! It has a railroad track and roads to drive cars on. Then you can put a lid on it and he can put things on it!  I am hopeful this will save my coffee table. As I make breakfast and Jeff puts the table together, Josh keeps running to the table and taking pieces! He is also eating all the candy from his stocking (well licking them a few times and throwing on the floor, to save for a later time) He is like a food hoarder or something. I might have to forget the TLC pitch and move right on to A&E. We go to my moms for Christmas dinner. Josh is pretty cranky, but we open gifts and watch my DVDS! They are well liked. Josh refuses to eat any dinner except deviled eggs. He is in my lap so this means I am wearing his deviled eggs. He wants to spend all his time downstairs looking at the Christmas lights, even thought there are lights upstairs to look at. Everyone keeps taking turns chasing him and taking him downstairs! He is wearing the whole family out with his antics now, so it is time to go. Josh took his new toy puppy on a string with him, so he is carrying it to the car and decides to put it in the snow, now he keeps yelling COLD and SNOW on the way home. As we are almost home my in laws call, I answer and this immediately signals Josh to holler for HIS turn to talk on the phone! Super awesome. We finish all our phone calls and now Josh wants his second bath of the day. I give him his bath and he enjoy s it and his new bath toys. Which he received in the hopes he will keep his habit of pouring everything from one cup to another and making messes all the time confined to the tub. He falls asleep after trying to be involved in playing with the new kinect, ( well really just walking near it and it picks him up, so then it is confused as to why a 4 foot person is now 2 feet). He has been super clumsy lately, so he has a black eye from the night stand, runs into everything and falls into stuff at the bottom of his new slide. He is like the Tasmanian devil. He tries to eat new Christmas tree ornaments that look like cookies, only wants eggs for every meal, and wants to hide everywhere. He did receive a TENT for Christmas with a long tube attached to crawl through, but it is broken!! Super sad, so I will have to exchange it. Hopefully this will encourage Josh to stay out of all my closets and cabinets. This is a looong blog! Hope everyone had a blessed Christmas and gets a laugh from these "adventures"