More vacation "Joshisms"

So yesterday I was super excited to go see my 2 sisters and niece and nephew at the Canton Jungle Java. I know it would be lots of fun, but my sister Courtney was sick, so only Shannon came. We had a nice visit while the kids played. Josh of course enjoyed the toddler area that they have, until we got drinks for the kids. Then he only wanted to drink his and Ian's drink. Brianna decided to take him into the "big kid" area. Well this was very kind of her except now, the toddler area looks LAME to Josh. So they big kids take turns going down the slide with Josh and then returning him to the toddler area. I am enjoying my coffee with Shannon and chatting when I notice a tiny headed baby in a red shirt streaking away to the big kids area, it is Josh!! I run after him (which if you know me you know I DO NOT run) and manage to catch him. WHEW! On the way home all the kids fall asleep in the car, awwww cute. Then while we trey to decide what we want for dinner, Josh hears us mention pizza so he spends half an hour yelling and crying PIZZA! Which he only eats the cheese off of after all that. Today Josh and I ran to the store to get party items for the big kids sleepovers tonight. He was yelling for the donuts in the store and I was trying to decide what to get the kids for dinner. So I ask Josh what he thinks the kids want to eat and he continually tells me "eggs" Well I am sure they do not want eggs for dinner. We get home and as I unload some groceries Josh is going around the yard enjoying the snow  He slips into a puddle from the rain,and sits there because he doesn't want to touch the snow with his bare hands. Now he is soaked. He does ask to carry some groceries in though. That's pretty cute "Carries,carries" he says!! This morning I gave him a juice pouch which I of course tell him not to squeeze (foolish woman), he of course DOES squeeze it. All over the kitchen floor so now I need to mop before the kids arrive this afternoon. So I DO mop and am cleaning the bathroom and making lunch at the same time. Of course this means that Josh is taking the mop out of the bucket and making a puddle of mop water on the kitchen floor. I set  him at the table with Ian to eat his soup with an ice cube of course. Josh decides since I am not paying attention and am taking trash out that he should SPLASH in his soup, getting it all over the table and chairs. Wonderful! I am hoping I can get Josh to leave the big kids alone tonight since he loves them all so much! I may be insane in the next blog. Enjoy your night!

all cuteness

Well, I was pondering what I needed to report in my blog and found that I couldn't think of too much naughtiness to report so I will tell of Josh's cuteness.  Josh enjoyed playing war with his brother and his cousin yesterday, not too sure I liked him playing with a gun, but his creeping around to find people  was cute. He played on his new slide with his cousin Sophia and was trying to "surf" it, thankfully even though he is clumsy lately, he didn't fall off. He has been on antibiotics for his ear infection and is at his independent stage so I pour it, he drinks it. Well last night he poured it all over the floor, but promptly got a washcloth and cleaned it up. So I figured I would pour and hold it today, well that didn't work either because as I held it to his mouth and said "drink this", he quickly turned his head and it poured all over his clothes. There must be a better way, right?? Today we went to the library and he played with the toys, but was having a great time running away from Ian and I. It was comical watching Ian chasing Josh behind the librarians desk (to me at least, not sure if the librarians liked it.) We then went to sonic to eat lunch where Josh told me he wanted a burger and tater tots! It was so funny hearing him say tater tots. We then had to run to meijers where I was in line to return something, I was holding Josh's hand and Ian was getting me a cart, I let go of Josh for a second to grab the cart and off he went. Ian captured him, as I couldn't possibly give up my place in a post holiday return line. We got Josh's tent exchanged and set it up and he LOVES it. He goes in and out and plays peek a boo by sticking his head out. I am enjoying watching him with it. After Josh woke up from his nap this afternoon and was sitting in my lap all cuddly, I felt a warmth spreading on my leg. You guessed right! He was peeing on me. Again. somehow his diaper came off inside his big, cozy overalls so he was naked underneath. I guess that is a moms life, being a napkin, a Kleenex and even a potty sometimes. He is now eating his dinner which is of course a huge mess, so next will be bath time.  Oh, I guess he is ready because he is yelling DOWN, so until next time my friends, enjoy!

Did ya miss us??

Well, I have been busy with Christmas activities so I haven't blogged in a few days, but FEAR NOT, Josh has been up to all his hilarious tricks. It started on Thursday when I had the super awesome idea to make a DVD slide show for my brother and sister in law for a Christmas gift. How nice and thoughtful of me, ha ha. I think this will take me about one hour so that is not bad. Oh how unintelligent I am. This project ended up taking me 6 hours! So this gives Josh a lot of time to run wild. He begins by getting the can of coffee I foolishly left too close to the edge of the counter, as I hurriedly made coffee so I can work on the DVD. He brings it to his personal table (the coffee table) and begins spooning it out. Wonderful, I will vacuum it later. Oh wait Brianna and Ian are here, they are supposed to be helping watch Josh so I can work but they decide to arm wrestle, on the coffee table, soooo, they sweep all the coffee off onto the FLOOR! Nice. I holler at them that they are supposed to watching Josh, they do so for a few minutes and then think playing hot potato is a good idea, so they get a raw potato out of the pantry and leave it open. So as they throw this potato around and hit the walls half the time instead of catching it, Josh pulls the bread out of the pantry and dumps it on the floor. Easy to pick up you would figure, except Josh rips it and smashes it all over. This now means I have coffee on the living room floor and bread all over the kitchen and dining room floor. When Josh brings me a paint can from the bottom of the pantry I realize he is running amok. I wasn't sure if the garbage man would come on Friday due to the holiday, so I only take out the garbage in the can, as I am working hard I hear him coming down our very short street, meaning I have 2 minutes to run around and get the other 5 bags out! I ask Brianna to get the garbage from the house, bag it up and bring it out. She does and I appreciate that. But since we are hurrying she forgets to close the bathroom doors. What can this mean? Well this means Josh gets the rolls of toilet paper and unrolls them all over the house. He has also gotten the paper towel somehow and has unrolled that all over the house also. So picture this if you can, bread everywhere, coffee on the floor, paper towel and toilet paper spread from end to end. UGH a huge mess, I have to clean some of it up before we leave to take Josh to the doctor.We are going visiting right after the doctor which means Jeff will be home from work and SEE this huge disaster area. I wonder if I call FEMA and get it declared a disaster zone, if he will overlook it, but I somehow doubt it. Josh is great going into the doctors waiting room, UNTIL he has to get out of the stroller and onto the scale. Now he is terrified and runs off the scale screaming. We get into the room and he is playing while we wait for the Doctor, all smiles and laughs. UH OH, the door has opened and the doctor has arrived. Josh is having a terrified FIT. He is at the age where he thinks the doctors office means pain.While I hold him in a "body lock" he manages to squirm enough to slap the doctor. I think I may just die now.(I am correct in my suspicion, he has an ear infection.) After we get home from visiting, Josh is sleeping, so I hurriedly get back to work, but he wakes up after an hour or so and wants to eat, so I give him some summer sausage and cheese. Bedtime arrives and we sleep. I wake early on Saturday and suffer anxiety as I lie in bed thinking about these DVDs and everything else I have to do that day. I have smartly decided to make a DVD for my mom also (what is wrong with me!) I quickly get to work and then rush to leave so we can do Christmas with my niece Jilly ( whom I haven't shopped for yet), keep in mind it is Christmas eve. As I am working at a frantic pace, I see Josh open the DVD cabinet, he continually pulls all the DVDs out and throws them around. I scold him and pick them up. He opens the cabinet again! What is wrong with him! Oh, he wants the SUMMER SAUSAGE HE HID THERE LAST NIGHT. gross!!! OK, got gifts and off to the party we go. My mom wants all 7 grand kids ages 20 months to 10 , to make gingerbread houses. Fun. They are all working hard and making great houses, EXCEPT Josh. He is only eating the candy not decorating with it. Wonderful, I have to leave him at my moms because Jeff and I have to do all our Christmas shopping. At 1 pm on Christmas eve! Off to Meijers we go and I think Josh is happily going shopping with my sister, alas he  is not. My mom decides she will put Josh down for a nap. This is an impossible feat for anyone but me. Josh likes to cuddle with only me and have his bottle. He sleeps a little I guess, but Brianna tells me later that he laid on the floor crying, "help me momma" AWWWWW, now my hear is broken and I am exhausted. So we are too tired and Josh is too sick and tired to go to Church. Very sad about this. I realize I have nothing for Christmas breakfast and no cookies for Santa. Quick run to Rite Aid and then off to bed. CHRISTMAS MORNING!!!! The big kids get up at 6:30, but Josh is still sleeping, so we let Brianna and Ian open their gifts. Which they love and then Josh arrives! So he opens his gifts,  and loves them also. He has a new TABLE,   ALL FOR HIM!!! It has a railroad track and roads to drive cars on. Then you can put a lid on it and he can put things on it!  I am hopeful this will save my coffee table. As I make breakfast and Jeff puts the table together, Josh keeps running to the table and taking pieces! He is also eating all the candy from his stocking (well licking them a few times and throwing on the floor, to save for a later time) He is like a food hoarder or something. I might have to forget the TLC pitch and move right on to A&E. We go to my moms for Christmas dinner. Josh is pretty cranky, but we open gifts and watch my DVDS! They are well liked. Josh refuses to eat any dinner except deviled eggs. He is in my lap so this means I am wearing his deviled eggs. He wants to spend all his time downstairs looking at the Christmas lights, even thought there are lights upstairs to look at. Everyone keeps taking turns chasing him and taking him downstairs! He is wearing the whole family out with his antics now, so it is time to go. Josh took his new toy puppy on a string with him, so he is carrying it to the car and decides to put it in the snow, now he keeps yelling COLD and SNOW on the way home. As we are almost home my in laws call, I answer and this immediately signals Josh to holler for HIS turn to talk on the phone! Super awesome. We finish all our phone calls and now Josh wants his second bath of the day. I give him his bath and he enjoy s it and his new bath toys. Which he received in the hopes he will keep his habit of pouring everything from one cup to another and making messes all the time confined to the tub. He falls asleep after trying to be involved in playing with the new kinect, ( well really just walking near it and it picks him up, so then it is confused as to why a 4 foot person is now 2 feet). He has been super clumsy lately, so he has a black eye from the night stand, runs into everything and falls into stuff at the bottom of his new slide. He is like the Tasmanian devil. He tries to eat new Christmas tree ornaments that look like cookies, only wants eggs for every meal, and wants to hide everywhere. He did receive a TENT for Christmas with a long tube attached to crawl through, but it is broken!! Super sad, so I will have to exchange it. Hopefully this will encourage Josh to stay out of all my closets and cabinets. This is a looong blog! Hope everyone had a blessed Christmas and gets a laugh from these "adventures"

Well Christmas break is here

And you know what that means! Josh has 2 full time playmates, right? WRONG!. While Brianna and Ian love Josh, they have had all the Josh fun they want after about 5 minutes. So recently Josh has gotten the bag of sugar I left too close to the edge of the counter and poured it all over the kitchen table. Good thing I wasn't going to make cookies.He has smeared ice cream on his favorite BIG tray (aka the coffee table), pulled ornaments off the tree and spread them around the house, also refrigerator magnets are all over the house! What is up with that??? He does enjoy playing in the snow for a few minutes and has recently really been enjoying jumping on my bed. Wonderful! Yesterday while I was trying to clean in my room, he got my concealer, opened it and smeared it all over the mirror. Makeup is a real joy for Josh. Anytime he finds it, he wants to wear it. You can often see him wearing mascara, lipstick, or eyeshadow. For the record, I think it is funny, but Jeff is not in agreement. He came in from playing outside today and had some hot cocoa, I had put an ice cube in it so he promptly tried to grab the ice cube as these are also a great source of fun for Josh. Thankfully his cocoa was not too hot. He drank a teaspoon of it and splashed in the rest, you would think that was cute since he was in his REAL high chair, but I had seated it close to the door wall so he could watch the birds, (our bird feeder has been getting some birds!!!) so now my doorwall has cocoa splashes all over it. AWESOME!!! A recent disappointment has occurred in Josh's life, Jeff installed cabinet locks on the cabinets where Josh loves to hide, so this has bummed him out and driven him to look for a new hideout. So imaginative and cute you say?? SURE, he now hides in the bottom of linen closet, thus removing sheets, towels and blankets 5 times a day. I feel bad because he obviously loves to hide, but good grief! I think Josh will be getting a little tent for Christmas, and then maybe I can salvage some of my sanity. HA!He has been practicing new words like thank you, snow, and ice cream. He also wants a pony! How do I know this you ask? Well when he is done eating, he will half climb out of his high chair and sit on the edge of it and say "PONY". Not sure if he is getting a pony for Christmas, but I am keeping my eyes open for a cute rocking horse. Only on day 2 of break and wonder if I will make it until the kids go back to school, poor Josh wakes up calling for Ian and then spends the day running around looking for the big kids. Guess I will forgo all my cleaning and just play Lego's with Josh! Till next  time!

Last day before Christmas break!!

OK, so I HAVE to get to my shopping done, because next week all the kids are home and I can't shop then!! Off to WalMart, Josh wants to ride in one of those carts that has two upright seats on the front with the harness straps. All is well for a minute or 2, then he climbs out and wants to sit in the other seat. Yeah! That also lasts for a minute, then he is climbing out of the straps. He wants to walk. I am sure that will work out well. We finish at WalMart after he walks around and wants every toy he sees! Isn't he too young for this?! Off to target and Kroger. We arrive home and bring our purchases in, which signals Josh to grab all the gifts out and want to play with them. Then he pulls all the Pyrex ware out and I ask him, "what are you doing?" I am trying to clean up and he is pulling stuff out of a NEW pan cupboard, heavy stuff too (and breakable) He stacks it on his personal tray (the coffee table) and goes back into the kitchen to hide in the empty cabinet! A real Christopher Columbus on my hands! Now he is super tired, but only naps for half an hour, not too good since we have the kids school parties. Since he is up, I figure I will get some Christmas cards done, I can see Josh playing under the kitchen table, awww how sweet. NOT! Somehow he got a pencil box full of those tiny crystals you put into a metal outline and bake in the oven to make a sun catcher and has dumped them ALL on the floor. No time to vacuum so I will have to do it after the parties. How did he get such an item you might wonder? I wonder that too, since it was on top of the desk, too far back for him to reach. I must have knocked it down whe digging around for the Christmas cards.  We arrive at the school and the stroller wheels are covered in snow, which of course melts into a big puddle on the lunchroom floor. I go to get paper towel to clean it up, leaving Josh with another parent. This prompts Josh to take his boot off and I am sure yell about it. I clean the mess (I Think) but when I step back it is just smeared around. I am batting a thousand! As we are enjoying the kids choir singing, Josh is enjoying telling me shhh! with his finger over his mouth. Guess I was too noisy. We go to the kids parties, where Josh enjoys pretty girls and banana slices. He takes his grapes and just mushes them all over his tray ( Threw them in the snow before we left, what else could I do right??) Josh ate newspaper on the drive home, screeched at Eli, after he stole Eli's hat and Eli took it back.Now Brianna has Savannah over and Ian has Eli over and Josh refuses to leave them alone. He is banging on doors and crying, while I try to get dinner cooked. Gonna be a LOOOOONG night. Good night and God bless!

missed a day, but not any josh antics!

Well, after I signed off last time, Josh spent some time hanging out in the pan cupboard, sitting on a cookie sheet and drinking his milk. Then when he was done drinking it, he poured it out on the cookie sheet so his pants were all wet. Brianna and Ian appeared right then and picked him up, immediately screeching and putting him down. They thought he had peed through his clothes but no, it was only the milk. I went out for the evening and left Josh at home with Jeff and the kids. He enjoyed driving them crazy doing things like filling a flower vase with potatoes. Yesterday Josh and I went to bible study. After our sitter left, I went down to watch the kids and while Josh was playing with the tool bench, I noticed him eating something. Not a yummy Graham cracker or some goldfish! It was the hash brown I had bought him LAST week. He had hidden in somewhere and then found it. Jeff said he is like a dog with a bone! He also had fun sitting in the cabinet at church with Erin, dumping out all the Dixie snack cups, taking the tape out of the player, trying to climb into the infant crib, and stealing Erin's goldfish snack. He did give the bunny painted on the wall a kiss! He can do fun, cute stuff too! He doesn't ONLY get into trouble! Last night at the kids choir concert, he sat soo nice in his stroller and listened to the singing. I thought. My friend Cindy noticed Josh was staring at all the GIRLS!! He just loves going to the school and seeing all the girls. After the girl watching incident, I noticed he was KICKING his feet at the little boy sitting on the floor near him. So far this morning he has asked for cereal didn't eat, begged for a cookie (a bagel), that he did eat, ask to go to the store, and gotten into the fry daddy while wearing his snowsuit! SO off to do the wash I go. More "Joshisms" will follow, I promise!

Day 2 has to be differnt right??

Good morning all! My life with Josh started super early today, at 4:48 when my older children's school called to say there was no school again! He is wet so I change his diaper and finally get him back to sleep. YEAH! Hang on, what is that noise I hear as I am starting to sleep pretty well,it is the cell phone with a text from Jeff's coworker, she is stuck in terrible traffic on the highway. Well, I guess that means morning is here! Let's get up. Josh eats breakfast wonderfully. He is using great manners, he says "thank you" a lot. It is super cute to hear and I love it. I start getting our homemade soup ready to go in the crock pot. Josh is looking gout the door wall at our bird feeder we made from a milk jug( which by the way NEVER has any birds). I hear a crunching over near him, what can he be eating?A delicious apple or a pretzel maybe. Not my Josh, he is eating an onion. YUM. I take it from him and am getting carrots from the fridge to add to our soup, as usual, Josh is enjoying removing the condiments from fridge door. He opens the spicy mustard and puts it up to his mouth, well, he decides he doesn't like so he asks me to put it away. I do but do not notice he has the Parmesan cheese out. He disappears to the living room. I should be suspicious that he is quiet and not at my feet, but I am just excited to get the soup into the 2 crock pots. Done with that I move onto washing dishes real quick. Finish my sink full and go into the living room. What could I see there? A huge pile of Parmesan cheese all over my coffee table. This leads me to believe after yesterdays juice incident that Josh thinks the coffee table is a huge high chair tray, made just for him to put food on. Grab the vacuum and suck up all that cheese. What a waste, I love spaghetti with Parmesan cheese. Well, Just had to get up and rescue Josh from under the EMPTY pan cupboard where he had gotten himself stuck in and it is only 10:30. Wonder what's next???

How did this start??

How did I decide to blog about life with Josh? Well, a few things happened, my friend Shelly said I made her laugh with some of the comments I made at bible study and that if I had a blog she would read it. Then yesterday at dinner while describing my day with Josh I said" I am going to pitch my life to TLC, and call it life with Josh. Well of course who am I to pitch anything to TLC right? So I decided I will blog about it and hope that it makes someone out there laugh! Yesterday in my life with Josh, he started the day by getting my coffee creamer out of the fridge and opening it and drinking it. For some reason he LOVES to get condiments out of the fridge and drink them.His next trick of the day is  taking my new body wash and taking the lid off. He then proceeded to pour it out in my make up case, effectively ruining my eyeshadow and new dental floss. Shut the door on that mess to get paper towel to clean the floor of the leaking body wash. Promptly got distracted by doing dishes and laundry. WAIT, what is that sound I hear?? Sounds like water running. HMMM IT'S JOSH. He got the apple juice, took off the lid and is pouring it out on my coffee table!!!! I run over there and grab the juice while yelling for my two older kids, who are home on a snow day to get me some towels! Okay that is cleaned up. As is the case EVERY day, I wash the pots and pans and put them away. Very nice right? Well as soon as I put them away this signals Josh to quickly pull them all out of the cupboard and put them all around the house. After lunch Josh eats a pudding. YUM, except he prefers to use his hand instead of his spoon and smear it all over his highchair tray. Now he needs a bath. Okay off to the bathroom, Josh is enjoying his nice warm bath for a few minutes, until he decides he should fill his play cup with water and pour it on the floor. I tell him if he does that again he has to get out. Does he care? NOPE. He starts throwing all his toys out onto the floor. Well, if you have little kids, you know most of their bath toys hold water, so now the floor is thoroughly soaked. Bath time is DONE!. I am almost out of diapers and the roads are in terrible shape and it is FREEZING out so I decide to supplement the diapers by using Josh's leftover little swimmers, after all, it is winter so he isn't swimming anytime soon. WOW I am proud of my ingenuity. The day continues on, calmly for a second. Josh wants to sit in my lap. YEAH! I love to cuddle him, wait, what is that on my leg?? Have you guessed yet?? That's right. His little swimmer is leaking on my leg. GREAT, now I am covered in urine and I have to put Josh's fourth outfit of the day on him! Jeff gets home from work that evening and we eat a yummy dinner of beef  homemade lo mein. Jeff and Ian are playing a fun game on xbox, where you have to go through an obstacle course. Josh is sitting on the coffee table SCREAMING GO! GO! GO! He wants to be part of guys time. The noise is at an unbearable level. So guys time ends and Jeff and I want to watch a little TV and relax together. What is Josh doing you ask? He has gotten a pan from the cupboard and is filling it with soy sauce. Good grief! Brianna stops him and puts the soy sauce away. (who left that out? ooops, I think it was me) Finally Josh is worn out and falls asleep. Thank God, I made it through another day with Josh. You may wonder, did I remember to get paper towels and clean up the body wash off the floor? Why yes, I did. After twice during the day going into the bathroom and stepping in it, causing me to have to change my socks, but not immediately getting paper towels to clean it. Until my third pair of socks, then I got paper towel and cleaned it. with Josh helping of course.